My elderly relatives would tease me at weddings, saying, "You will be next!" They soon stopped once I began doing the same to them at funerals.It is better to be loved than feared, but if you cannot be loved, then fear will do.What is the difference between jelly and jam? You cannot jelly a clown into the tiny car.I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm. They say there is a person capable of murder in every friendship group.I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I do not find it cute or romantic.Girlhood is like a bubble all it takes is one little idiot, and it is gone.Did you know that your beautiful cats have nine lives? It makes them ideal for experimentation.Break bones instead because they have 206 of them. Never break someone’s heart they only have one.When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like all the passengers in his car.My favorite movie of all time is 'Harold and Maude.' Chances are, you will love them just as much we do. If dark humor jokes make you chuckle, take a peek at this collection. Mine too.īest dark humor jokes for you Best dark humor jokes. Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous.Having a mind that is considered dirty makes conversations far more interesting.The easiest way to know you are ugly is when you are handed the camera every time there is a group photo.If you want to stop an argument between deaf people, be fast and switch off the lights.I never needed unstable relationships to teach me about broken relationship vices my parents were perfect examples."I am sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing, except at a funeral.I just got my doctor’s test results, and I’m really upset.Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Give a man a match, and he will be warm for a few hours.My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?.I am telling you this now because no social media existed in the '80s. In 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee.What do you do if a gang of clowns ever attacks you? Go for the juggler.What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?. ![]() What do you call a bacterial disease caused by two grizzlies? Twobearculosis.Why won't Monica Lewinsky vote for Hilary Clinton? The last Clinton Presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.My wife left a note on the fridge, "This is not working," but the fridge is working fine.What do you call a White girl that can run faster than her brothers? The redneck spinster.It was a bitter-sweet end for me as I won the bet after my friend drowned in the lake.I have thought about it long enough, and my conclusion is that I have had enough of being an adult. ![]()
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